Apr 24

Where to Draw the Line

Earlier today I was reading a post about money saving ideas for weddings and planning on a budget.  I realize everyone has their own ideas, and it seems that all “rules” have been thrown out the window.  I myself am guilty of encouraging couples to do whatever pleases them and making the celebration truly their own, representing a happy start to their marriage.

But how far is too far?  When is an idea unique and quirky, and when is it just downright tacky?  How do you battle the frivolous and the budget conscious?

I was nodding along to the entire article, which made points about prioritizing and focusing on 3 things that you find the most important, and considering the sacrifices you’ll make if you hire a friend verse a professional to do certain tasks, such as videography among other services.  I can completely be on board with these ideas.  My jaw did not actually hit the floor until I saw a comment at the end suggesting the best way to save money is to have a potluck style reception.  Yes, in fact, this person was suggesting that you ask your guests to bring a dish to pass.  I’m not even sure where to begin with a response to that.  To me, you have crossed a line.  I cannot fathom this nor comprehend how to word this with even a little dignity and etiquette on a wedding invitation.

I would classify this as too far.  But perhaps, others find this normal?  Do they?

Harvest Table | The Day's Design | Bradley James Phtoography

Photo by Bradley James Photography

So here are some thoughts you might want to consider when you’re considering these more innovative and out-of-the-box wedding ideas:

What’s the motivation?

Is your unique idea a true representation of you or your family?  Are you serving pizza because it’s a super cheap option or because it’s a tradition in your family to eat pizza every Saturday night (not to mention, everyone love pizza, right?!)  Are you using sequined linens because you love all things glitter or because Sally did at her wedding and your wedding has to be better than hers?  Did you just see the idea on Pinterest and think it was cool or is it actually your personal decorating style?

Will it make your guests uncomfortable?

While your wedding day might be all about you and your love, it doesn’t hurt to make your guests happy too.  That super cheap wedding venue without AC might look good on paper, but when the thermometer hits 90+ in the middle of July, you might be singing a different tune.  You don’t want the most memorable part of your wedding to be the negative.  Situations can also make people feel uncomfortable.  I personally feel awkward when I’m attending a wedding that I know nothing about, inside or outside venue, formality levels, etc.  And being asked to bring a dish would simply leave me scratching my head and make me feel really uneasy, what in the world should I bring?!

Will it be fun?

People like fun.  Your wedding is celebration.  Yes, it is a serious commitment that should be honored, but to me, celebrations are a happy time.  And happy can easily translate into fun.  How are you going to celebrate your wedding date?  Make it special and have fun!

These are just a couple ideas to consider among the long list of craziness that surrounds a wedding.  As a wedding planner, I hear and see ideas quite often that leave me amazed – both in a good and bad way.  So as you’re stretching your budget, searching for different ideas and considering unique approaches to your celebrations, I simply encourage you to take just a moment to stop and think about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and the effects it might have on those around you!

Happy Planning!


  1. DanaWilmer-Lucas says:

    Oh my goodness, “potluck and weddings” should never be in the same sentence!!!!

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