This past week, I co-hosted a bridal shower for my younger sister. I am ridiculously excited for her wedding and so happy for her. However, this post isn’t really about her. Rather, it’s about something that was said during her shower that particularly struck me.
Whenever my family hosts a shower, we always include a small devotion. This shower was no exception and we asked a member of her church to share a few words. She started talking about fairytales (you may have seen a few sneaks of my sister’s Cinderella inspired proposal so this message was spot on) and then she spoke about the different seasons of love.
Photography: Bradley James Photography
Anyone who is married can tell you that those butterflies and pangs of longing and excitement don’t last forever. Happily ever after is something that you have to work at. Love has different seasons and is constantly evolving.
As she spoke, I began to wonder what it would be like to hold onto that so fresh in love feeling forever. I starting thinking about how miserable life might actually be if my gut was tormented eternally every time we were separated for 2 hours or if he didn’t return my call.
And then another memory came flashing back into my mind. My first love. I was sixteen years old and he was my everything. His mother, on the other hand, has some prude-like tendencies. I remember one night sitting and watching Groundhog Day with his entire family. Remember at the end when Bill Murray finally makes it through the night and it’s a different day in the morning? And Andie MacDowell is still there. In bed. With him. And then they kiss. And my boyfriend’s mother said “ugh, like anyone would kiss with morning breath”.
As a sixteen year old who was madly in love with her first boyfriend, I was appalled by this comment. Who cares?! I would have given anything to give my boy a kiss first thing in the morning. I could only dream about a time when this would be a real possibility. Thoughts of love, marriage and all sorts of romantic notions flooded my hormone infused teenage mind. My heart nearly broke every time I had to tell my boyfriend good bye.
Fast forward 15 years, 6 of which I have been married, and suddenly I can see where she was coming from. It’s certainly not because I don’t love my husband, but I prefer a little minty freshness in the morning. I’m in a different season of life, of love.
We need to cherish the season we’re in. If you’re newly engaged, this is your time to savor the feeling of novel love. The tingles and exhilaration will vanish overtime, but that doesn’t mean that either one of you have “fallen out of love” but instead, it has evolved into something new. Newfound emotions and levels of understand and commitment are just around the corner.