Photography: Samantha James Photography
I am a wedding planner. Being as such, I find myself saying cliché things like “I hope you have a marriage more beautiful than your wedding.” I don’t wish those thoughts upon you just because it sounds nice or because I want to be cliché, but rather, I think and express notions like this because I truly mean them. This is my hope for each and every couple that I meet, work with, provide wedding services for and then often befriend. The truth is, marriage is hard and you need as much support and well wishes sent your way as possible.
It has come to my attention though that perhaps I’m not doing all I can to make a good marriage part of your reality. My hypocrisy is that once the last candle is burnt out and the rentals have been returned, I act as though my job is done. I share all sorts of wedding planning dos and don’ts, tips and tricks here in my little corner of the internet, but never offer any marriage advice. That sort of makes me a hypocrite.
In my own defense, I don’t feel as though I’m qualified for this position. I’ve been married 7 ½ years, which hardly makes me an expert. I have not spent every day of those 7 ½ years fully loving my husband, in fact there have been days that I didn’t want to be near him, touch him, look at him or even say 2 words to him… at least not nice words. I don’t know what your expectations for married life are, but these certainly were not mine.
We have started a marriage study with a small group in our church. Our marriage is not in trouble or anything like that and there’s no particular reason why this topic was chosen for our group, but there’s always something more to learn and some way to better ourselves. Which I think is the perfect opportunity to rectify this situation of marriage silence in this space. I’m not going to pretend to be a know-it-all or act like I have my life together. However, I think it takes a village to make life work and marriage is a huge piece of our lives. Maybe we can find community together and learn and grow together. I’ve already felt inspired by just the first week and would love to share that inspiration with you.